The Burger Siren Song

I was going to get a low-fat meal of grilled chicken and vegetables.  I really, really was.

I pulled up to the place, got out and was going to go in and get that bland grilled chicken with a side of grilled vegetables (Mediterranean Style!), but then I smelled the burger place next door.

That smell!  It called to me!  It said "Snad...Snad...you want a burger!  It's tasty!  It's hot!  It comes with a side of fries!  It will taste so much better than grilled chicken and vegetables!  You know you want it!"

That siren song!  How could I resist!  I walked, trance-like, to the burger place.   It was run by three old guys.  I ordered a cheeseburger.  They had the toppings laid out, like the Harvey's of old.  It was glorious.

Beauty

I brought it to work, sat down in the lunch room, unwrapped it and watched all the men stare at it and salivate.  "Where did you get that burger?" they asked.  "Down the street," I said.  "Near the Healthy Choice place."

And I ate the whole burger.

It was glorious.

The Dark Side

A friend of mine who works downtown in a hipper, more socially-responsible job than me, had the day off and decided to come up to the 'burbs to have lunch with me.  She's a vegetarian and so I figured she'd want to go to the panini place or the cheap-but-excellent Industrial Park Indian buffet. (The Indian buffet in the industrial park just south of the business park really is very good, but I was unable to take a picture when I ate there.  I had gone with civilized people and it's not OK to take pictures of empty, filthy place when you're in polite company.)

But for some reason my very cool, very hip, very vegetarian and very anti-establishment friend wanted to go to a chain restaurant that was reminiscent of the movie Office Space, only a bit more upscale.

We walked in and she exclaimed, "This place is full of men!"  And I was like, duh, it's a high-tech business park, what do you expect?  If we had gone to the panini place just outside the business park -- which, incidentally, makes an awesome veggie sandwich -- there would have have been more women.

Anyways.  I had the fish and chips because it seemed safe.  She had the fish tacos because there were no reasonable vegetarian options (surprise!) and she's actually a fishetarian.

She finished her fish tacos, but I couldn't finish my two giant, extra-oily battered fish fillets with extra-salty fries, so I got a doggy bag.

"Fat, I am your father."

The panini place might have been better, but I would never have experienced a black take-out container that reminded me of Darth Vader's dirty helmet at the beginning of Star Wars. (Though I suspect George Lucas scrubbed it for his digitally remastered abominations).